My goal in writing these blog posts is to help more parents realize the joy of parenting, the thrill of it, the fun of it, and the huge importance of it.
The Job of Parenting
What would you say is the most important job? We need farmers and carpenters and on and on. Almost every job is important. But how well each job is done matters, and that is determined by the person doing the job. The world can be no better than the people in it. All people arrive in this world slightly different, none exactly the same. Then, the formative years matter. At that time, the main influence is the parent, directly or indirectly.
So, what can a parent do? Does it matter? Of course, it does! And, new scientific research has shown that even genes can be changed in the formative years if there is abuse to the young child. The first years of life matter HUGELY in the child’s development. Everything the parent does and says to the child affects that one child, and also it affects all the people the child interacts with, forever. So, maybe, probably… the most important job is the job of parenting.
As parents, we are free to do what makes sense to each one of us. Some parents complain about their child and are actually mean to the child. Perhaps these parents do not realize that there is an option but think that they are supposed to be dictators, forcing the child to do this and that and punishing the child a lot. Perhaps they think this is helpful to that little person, so ready to learn. How sad. And probably it is the reason I have been spending years writing and speaking about parenting.
Just imagine the difference there could be, overall, if all parents were always kind to their children. Recently, I have been on several shows discussing “Are Mass Murderers formed in the Crib?” The answer is yes, sometimes.
The parent can be on the child’s side rather than on some opposing side. The parent can help the child learn about life by being open and friendly and honest and kind. A parent who is kind to the child will find that the child is kind back to the parent and to others. Spreading kindness, a real caring about others, is a most worthy job.
What would you say is the most important job? We need farmers and carpenters and on and on. Almost every job is important. But how well each job is done matters, and that is determined by the person doing the job. The world can be no better than the people in it. All people arrive in this world slightly different, none exactly the same. Then, the formative years matter. At that time, the main influence is the parent, directly or indirectly.
So, what can a parent do? Does it matter? Of course, it does! And, new scientific research has shown that even genes can be changed in the formative years if there is abuse to the young child. The first years of life matter HUGELY in the child’s development. Everything the parent does and says to the child affects that one child, and also it affects all the people the child interacts with, forever. So, maybe, probably… the most important job is the job of parenting.
As parents, we are free to do what makes sense to each one of us. Some parents complain about their child and are actually mean to the child. Perhaps these parents do not realize that there is an option but think that they are supposed to be dictators, forcing the child to do this and that and punishing the child a lot. Perhaps they think this is helpful to that little person, so ready to learn. How sad. And probably it is the reason I have been spending years writing and speaking about parenting.
Just imagine the difference there could be, overall, if all parents were always kind to their children. Recently, I have been on several shows discussing “Are Mass Murderers formed in the Crib?” The answer is yes, sometimes.
The parent can be on the child’s side rather than on some opposing side. The parent can help the child learn about life by being open and friendly and honest and kind. A parent who is kind to the child will find that the child is kind back to the parent and to others. Spreading kindness, a real caring about others, is a most worthy job.
Parenting is a Pleasure!
It breaks my heart to hear a parent ever complain about her or his child.
The child was asked for by the parent. What did the parent expect…an adult instead of a brand new baby who is ready to learn whatever the parent will teach? And if a parent complains about that person who was asked for, it means that baby, toddler, and teenager knows it from the parent’s attitude and actions, so the child will be harmed.
Too many articles are written as if parenting is a big problem, full of smaller problems. That is incorrect. If a parent complains about her child, thinking the child is a problem, then sure, absolutely, there is a problem full of problems. If instead, the parent realizes that parenting is so much fun and also so very important in determining what that child will be at every stage of life, then parenting is the absolute opposite of a problem. It will be a pleasure, all the time. And it can be easy.
A few weeks ago, there was an article online about oh what to do when the baby wakes the parent at night, what to do so that the baby would not disturb the parent. Oh what a problem, the article suggested. I thought back to how thrilled my husband and I were when our little baby would wake and ask for us in the middle of the night. We loved it. My husband would get up, thrilled to go see our baby, and would change his diapers and hug him and bring him into bed with us for me to nurse, making our baby so happy. Often we would then fall asleep, all together. It was wonderful. And, after a while, I would take him back to his crib where he would continue to sleep with contentment as I would quietly say to him to call us if he wanted anything.
Complaining was the last thing on our minds. We could barely wait, each morning, to go to the crib and see our little baby and pick him up. Being with our child, and after two and a half years, our two children, was such a thrill, so much fun, and absolutely our favorite thing to do.
All parents can talk to infants and love them, and what they will get back is love and kindness and happiness with life. Parenting need never be a problem if the parent, from the very beginning, is kind to the baby and continues to be kind and open and honest, always. Instead, parenting will be a huge pleasure!
It breaks my heart to hear a parent ever complain about her or his child.
The child was asked for by the parent. What did the parent expect…an adult instead of a brand new baby who is ready to learn whatever the parent will teach? And if a parent complains about that person who was asked for, it means that baby, toddler, and teenager knows it from the parent’s attitude and actions, so the child will be harmed.
Too many articles are written as if parenting is a big problem, full of smaller problems. That is incorrect. If a parent complains about her child, thinking the child is a problem, then sure, absolutely, there is a problem full of problems. If instead, the parent realizes that parenting is so much fun and also so very important in determining what that child will be at every stage of life, then parenting is the absolute opposite of a problem. It will be a pleasure, all the time. And it can be easy.
A few weeks ago, there was an article online about oh what to do when the baby wakes the parent at night, what to do so that the baby would not disturb the parent. Oh what a problem, the article suggested. I thought back to how thrilled my husband and I were when our little baby would wake and ask for us in the middle of the night. We loved it. My husband would get up, thrilled to go see our baby, and would change his diapers and hug him and bring him into bed with us for me to nurse, making our baby so happy. Often we would then fall asleep, all together. It was wonderful. And, after a while, I would take him back to his crib where he would continue to sleep with contentment as I would quietly say to him to call us if he wanted anything.
Complaining was the last thing on our minds. We could barely wait, each morning, to go to the crib and see our little baby and pick him up. Being with our child, and after two and a half years, our two children, was such a thrill, so much fun, and absolutely our favorite thing to do.
All parents can talk to infants and love them, and what they will get back is love and kindness and happiness with life. Parenting need never be a problem if the parent, from the very beginning, is kind to the baby and continues to be kind and open and honest, always. Instead, parenting will be a huge pleasure!
Answer the Baby's Cry
When a baby makes a cry from the crib, it is the start of parent-child communication.
A baby cannot communicate then with words, asking the parent to please come. How the parent responds to the first cries matters HUGELY. If the parent goes to the infant right away and starts talking to him, communication has begun! It can continue forever!
Some people advise letting the baby sob and sob until finally giving up on the parent coming to help. How wrong that is! Some say going to the baby all the time will spoil him. Spoil means ruin. I ask this: Do you think a child is more likely to be ruined if the parent lets the child know that the parent does not care about him when he asks for help…or..if the parent makes it clear that the child is respected and loved?
We can imagine, being the baby, how we would feel about the parent and life itself if nobody cared enough to come when asked Then, we can imagine how we would feel if a parent came immediately and picked us up and said we are so loved, and carried us where she may have been, and kept hugging us for a long long time.
Obviously, a parent who is kind to the child is likely to have a child who is kind back. A parent who is not kind to the child is likely to have a child who is not kind. We can think further. Why are some six-year-old bullies? Not all six-year-olds want to hurt their friends, physically or emotionally, but some do. Why do some people want to commit mass murders? Not all people want to do that. Little bullies and mass murderers have something in common. They want to hurt others. They are probably unhappy with life and most likely that is because of early childhood treatment. The formative years are called formative because they are formative.
I have personally heard a number of parents say they wish they had gone to their baby crying from the crib. They said they wanted to, but were told not to do it. How sad.
As for not going to the baby’s cry from the crib to teach that we cannot get everything we want in life, that can be explained to the child later. Talking, explaining, and listening to child’s questions and ideas work is wonderful. Some parents get upset when their teenager does not have self-confidence, cannot make decisions, and is just plain unhappy. This need not happen! If the parent has been a mean dictator, then, of course, the child will not feel capable of making decisions, will not know how, and will feel inadequate. However, if the parent has been kind, the child will likely be a secure, happy person who cares about helping others, too. Isn’t that what we all want?
When a baby makes a cry from the crib, it is the start of parent-child communication.
A baby cannot communicate then with words, asking the parent to please come. How the parent responds to the first cries matters HUGELY. If the parent goes to the infant right away and starts talking to him, communication has begun! It can continue forever!
Some people advise letting the baby sob and sob until finally giving up on the parent coming to help. How wrong that is! Some say going to the baby all the time will spoil him. Spoil means ruin. I ask this: Do you think a child is more likely to be ruined if the parent lets the child know that the parent does not care about him when he asks for help…or..if the parent makes it clear that the child is respected and loved?
We can imagine, being the baby, how we would feel about the parent and life itself if nobody cared enough to come when asked Then, we can imagine how we would feel if a parent came immediately and picked us up and said we are so loved, and carried us where she may have been, and kept hugging us for a long long time.
Obviously, a parent who is kind to the child is likely to have a child who is kind back. A parent who is not kind to the child is likely to have a child who is not kind. We can think further. Why are some six-year-old bullies? Not all six-year-olds want to hurt their friends, physically or emotionally, but some do. Why do some people want to commit mass murders? Not all people want to do that. Little bullies and mass murderers have something in common. They want to hurt others. They are probably unhappy with life and most likely that is because of early childhood treatment. The formative years are called formative because they are formative.
I have personally heard a number of parents say they wish they had gone to their baby crying from the crib. They said they wanted to, but were told not to do it. How sad.
As for not going to the baby’s cry from the crib to teach that we cannot get everything we want in life, that can be explained to the child later. Talking, explaining, and listening to child’s questions and ideas work is wonderful. Some parents get upset when their teenager does not have self-confidence, cannot make decisions, and is just plain unhappy. This need not happen! If the parent has been a mean dictator, then, of course, the child will not feel capable of making decisions, will not know how, and will feel inadequate. However, if the parent has been kind, the child will likely be a secure, happy person who cares about helping others, too. Isn’t that what we all want?
God and Happiness
Perhaps God should be included in every blog I write. Perhaps He is included.
My feeling is that for those who believe in God, happiness with life is synonymous with believing in God.
Some question whether it is necessary to believe in God in order to understand true happiness. Personally, I cannot know the answer to that because I have always felt His presence and His help. I am thankful. And I feel a need to open thinking if I can and write the hope that every parent alive is, to the best of her or his ability, trying to help the child appreciate life itself. The parent who is kind and open, working with the child instead of against the child, will be helping the child feel secure and happy to be alive instead of the opposite, which is confused, insecure, and unhappy.
There are theories that an unhappy parent will have trouble trying to be kind to the child, that such is difficult for a person who herself is not appreciative of life. However, even if difficult, even if the parent is not quite able to do what some others may do, just trying surely helps. A parent, however troubled by her or his own past, can remember that she asked for the child and the child is being influenced all the time in the important formative years by what the parent says and does. Even the attitude of the parent toward parenting makes a huge difference.
Parenting is a thrilling job and a very important job that is time consuming but can be an enormous pleasure all the time. Those who accept God probably do find that almost any job in life is less difficult than it might be. There is a serenity that exists, that helps make life wonderful and easy, too.
When more individual children are happier, then, overall, there will be less unpleasantness, less crime, more peace. There will be more caring about others. Oversimplifying? Probably not! Overstating the Importance? Probably not!
With personal thankfulness, and with much hope that my writings are helping more people realize that parenting is not only probably the most important job, but can be the pinnacle of pleasures. Appreciating all of life matters.
Perhaps God should be included in every blog I write. Perhaps He is included.
My feeling is that for those who believe in God, happiness with life is synonymous with believing in God.
Some question whether it is necessary to believe in God in order to understand true happiness. Personally, I cannot know the answer to that because I have always felt His presence and His help. I am thankful. And I feel a need to open thinking if I can and write the hope that every parent alive is, to the best of her or his ability, trying to help the child appreciate life itself. The parent who is kind and open, working with the child instead of against the child, will be helping the child feel secure and happy to be alive instead of the opposite, which is confused, insecure, and unhappy.
There are theories that an unhappy parent will have trouble trying to be kind to the child, that such is difficult for a person who herself is not appreciative of life. However, even if difficult, even if the parent is not quite able to do what some others may do, just trying surely helps. A parent, however troubled by her or his own past, can remember that she asked for the child and the child is being influenced all the time in the important formative years by what the parent says and does. Even the attitude of the parent toward parenting makes a huge difference.
Parenting is a thrilling job and a very important job that is time consuming but can be an enormous pleasure all the time. Those who accept God probably do find that almost any job in life is less difficult than it might be. There is a serenity that exists, that helps make life wonderful and easy, too.
When more individual children are happier, then, overall, there will be less unpleasantness, less crime, more peace. There will be more caring about others. Oversimplifying? Probably not! Overstating the Importance? Probably not!
With personal thankfulness, and with much hope that my writings are helping more people realize that parenting is not only probably the most important job, but can be the pinnacle of pleasures. Appreciating all of life matters.
Happiness
A respected psychiatrist said " The goal of psychiatrists in treating patients of any age is happiness." Maybe that takes a minute or so to absorb! Then, it seems obvious! Happiness is mental healthiness.
Unhappiness is what causes people to go to counseling. In the amazing wonderful job of parenting, remembering happiness as a goal for the child helps everything else fall into place. Some believe it even matters while the baby is still in the womb. Parents should surely want a child who is happy at age two days old, two months old, twelve years old, twenty years old, and seventy years old. And if all parents remembered that as a goal, oh wow!
If every parent was kind and honest and open with every child, helping the child be happy with life itself, just imagine what we would have. We would have a world with fewer insecure, unhappy people and we would have less strife and more peacefulness because happy people tend to be caring about others. Unhappy, confused, insecure people often want to hurt others, physically and emotionally. Criminals are not happy. That is not an opinion, but a fact. Many are trying to analyze the reason for recently publicized mass murders. Usually, after the murderer has been identified, we are told that he had mental problems. Yes, we knew that.
Overall, happiness is a worthy goal that can be spread easily through parenting. Later counseling, to try to undue what was done to the child, need not be necessary. Also it sometimes does not work as well as getting it right in the formative years.of the child's life. As more parents remember to be always kind instead of ever mean to the child and as more parents remember that the primary influence on the child is the parent...not the internet, not the school, not the friends....then oh wow, happiness will come to the child and also to the parent.
A respected psychiatrist said " The goal of psychiatrists in treating patients of any age is happiness." Maybe that takes a minute or so to absorb! Then, it seems obvious! Happiness is mental healthiness.
Unhappiness is what causes people to go to counseling. In the amazing wonderful job of parenting, remembering happiness as a goal for the child helps everything else fall into place. Some believe it even matters while the baby is still in the womb. Parents should surely want a child who is happy at age two days old, two months old, twelve years old, twenty years old, and seventy years old. And if all parents remembered that as a goal, oh wow!
If every parent was kind and honest and open with every child, helping the child be happy with life itself, just imagine what we would have. We would have a world with fewer insecure, unhappy people and we would have less strife and more peacefulness because happy people tend to be caring about others. Unhappy, confused, insecure people often want to hurt others, physically and emotionally. Criminals are not happy. That is not an opinion, but a fact. Many are trying to analyze the reason for recently publicized mass murders. Usually, after the murderer has been identified, we are told that he had mental problems. Yes, we knew that.
Overall, happiness is a worthy goal that can be spread easily through parenting. Later counseling, to try to undue what was done to the child, need not be necessary. Also it sometimes does not work as well as getting it right in the formative years.of the child's life. As more parents remember to be always kind instead of ever mean to the child and as more parents remember that the primary influence on the child is the parent...not the internet, not the school, not the friends....then oh wow, happiness will come to the child and also to the parent.
Reason Some Parents Complain...And Some Optimism Too
Maybe a big reason some parents complain about their 2 month old, their 5 year old, or their 14 year old is because some who write advice on the internet and in books seem to believe that parenting is a problem. It is presented by some writers as one big problem, full of smaller problems. How sad this is to those of us who know what fun it can be, and how much the parent’s attitude matters in helping the child.
Of course, that is not the only reason some parents complain. Some do simply because some of their friends complain. This surely affects a parent who is unsure what to do. But some who hear complaints will only feel sorry for such a parent and for the child who is being treated with a negative attitude.
And there is still another reason that is perhaps the overriding reason for both the writers who think parenting is a problem and for the parents who just complain as if that is a natural thing to do. I was on a show with the title, Can Unhappy Parents Have Happy Children? There is a theory that it takes several generations for a child who has been abused, physically or emotionally, to have descendants who are truly happy with life. An unhappy, insecure, confused person will not quite know how to treat the child kindly and with compassion. This does make some sense. My bottom line answer to the question was that it helps to have a parent who is happy, but it is not a necessity. Being an optimist when that seems reasonable, I think a parent who was hurt, physically or emotionally or both as a child, can think about the importance of being kind instead of mean and can try and succeed in being a fantastic, caring parent. Why not think that? Almost anything is possible when we care and try!
The good news which most know, is that, over the past years, more and more people in this country are realizing the importance of the parent being kind, communicating instead of punishing as the better way to help the child. There has been a definite, although gradual, change toward acceptance of this philosophy.
Perhaps more writers of books and internet parenting sites will think deeply and realize that parenting is not a difficult chore, but an enormous joy. As this happens, the world will change for the better.
Maybe a big reason some parents complain about their 2 month old, their 5 year old, or their 14 year old is because some who write advice on the internet and in books seem to believe that parenting is a problem. It is presented by some writers as one big problem, full of smaller problems. How sad this is to those of us who know what fun it can be, and how much the parent’s attitude matters in helping the child.
Of course, that is not the only reason some parents complain. Some do simply because some of their friends complain. This surely affects a parent who is unsure what to do. But some who hear complaints will only feel sorry for such a parent and for the child who is being treated with a negative attitude.
And there is still another reason that is perhaps the overriding reason for both the writers who think parenting is a problem and for the parents who just complain as if that is a natural thing to do. I was on a show with the title, Can Unhappy Parents Have Happy Children? There is a theory that it takes several generations for a child who has been abused, physically or emotionally, to have descendants who are truly happy with life. An unhappy, insecure, confused person will not quite know how to treat the child kindly and with compassion. This does make some sense. My bottom line answer to the question was that it helps to have a parent who is happy, but it is not a necessity. Being an optimist when that seems reasonable, I think a parent who was hurt, physically or emotionally or both as a child, can think about the importance of being kind instead of mean and can try and succeed in being a fantastic, caring parent. Why not think that? Almost anything is possible when we care and try!
The good news which most know, is that, over the past years, more and more people in this country are realizing the importance of the parent being kind, communicating instead of punishing as the better way to help the child. There has been a definite, although gradual, change toward acceptance of this philosophy.
Perhaps more writers of books and internet parenting sites will think deeply and realize that parenting is not a difficult chore, but an enormous joy. As this happens, the world will change for the better.
Respect the Child
People have asked what to do if the child will not listen to the parent. Maybe that seemingly small question is a big indication of a parent-child relationship that is unhealthy. A good, happy, kind, open parent-child relationship is one where the parent listens to the child and then, naturally, the child listens to the parent. Parent and child respect each other.
Big statement here is this: A parent should respect the child. Enough talk about how important it is for the child to respect the parent. That will be the natural outcome if the parent respects the child. From the moment of birth, that little human being surely deserves respect. All people do. And if a parent respects the child from the beginning of the child’s life, that child is likely to respect the parent. It works better than a parent screaming, “ Respect me! I am your parent! If you don’t respect me, you will be punished! ”
When a parent respects the child, that parent will be kind to the child, which means paying attention to the child, listening to the child, answering the child’s questions starting with the questions from the crib. Yes, a cry from the crib is a question. " Will you please come? I do not know why, but I want to see you and have you help me somehow. I need you. Will you help me ... I hope? "
Listening to the baby and toddler and teenager definitely makes a huge difference in the parent-child relationship. Listening and then always answering with kindness and honesty helps the child feel secure and happy and respectful of the parent. Kindness begets kindness. Respect brings respect. And the child will want to listen to the parent who has been kind and respectful. It is not just the best way, but the only way to expect a child to really listen to the parent.
People have asked what to do if the child will not listen to the parent. Maybe that seemingly small question is a big indication of a parent-child relationship that is unhealthy. A good, happy, kind, open parent-child relationship is one where the parent listens to the child and then, naturally, the child listens to the parent. Parent and child respect each other.
Big statement here is this: A parent should respect the child. Enough talk about how important it is for the child to respect the parent. That will be the natural outcome if the parent respects the child. From the moment of birth, that little human being surely deserves respect. All people do. And if a parent respects the child from the beginning of the child’s life, that child is likely to respect the parent. It works better than a parent screaming, “ Respect me! I am your parent! If you don’t respect me, you will be punished! ”
When a parent respects the child, that parent will be kind to the child, which means paying attention to the child, listening to the child, answering the child’s questions starting with the questions from the crib. Yes, a cry from the crib is a question. " Will you please come? I do not know why, but I want to see you and have you help me somehow. I need you. Will you help me ... I hope? "
Listening to the baby and toddler and teenager definitely makes a huge difference in the parent-child relationship. Listening and then always answering with kindness and honesty helps the child feel secure and happy and respectful of the parent. Kindness begets kindness. Respect brings respect. And the child will want to listen to the parent who has been kind and respectful. It is not just the best way, but the only way to expect a child to really listen to the parent.
Chores for the Child?
Here's an answer for a parent who complains that her child will not always do her or his chores: Did you ask for a baby who you could enjoy helping grow into a fine person or did you ask for a cleaning woman?
Some may think that it helps the young child become a good responsible person if that toddler and teenager is required to make his bed, clean his room, take out the trash for the family, and perhaps do more than that. And there are some who even think that the child should be punished if he does not perform the stated chores. Perhaps such a parent may not have thought deeply about whether this is the best way to help the child.
With thankfulness, I write that all parents do not make their child perform chores around the house, but treat the child very differently and for a good reason.
In every endeavor, we want a goal if we care to do the job well. So, in the job of parenting, what might be the goal? Obeying orders? Would that be a worthy goal? Perhaps some adults who may be a bit unhappy and confused about life themselves do believe that the only way to live is by having orders and obedience. However, the child who grows up not making his own decisions about what to wear or what foods he prefers or how to spend every minute of his time will hardly know how to manage his life as he grows older. If his early life is filled with orders, what can be expected as he grows? At some point, a parent may wonder why that child does not seem capable of making decisions, and may even tell herself that it is just genes. As I have written recently, there is now scientific research to prove that genes in a young child can be changed if there is abuse of any kind. Maybe treating a child like a slave is abuse.
If the parent's goal for the child is an appreciation of life, the parent is more likely to pay attention to helping the little one enjoy the beautiful sunshine or the blooming dogwood trees or promoting the child's interest in learning how to read or giving the family pet some loving instead of forcing the child to perform chores for the parent. Whatever path the parent chooses matters.
Here's an answer for a parent who complains that her child will not always do her or his chores: Did you ask for a baby who you could enjoy helping grow into a fine person or did you ask for a cleaning woman?
Some may think that it helps the young child become a good responsible person if that toddler and teenager is required to make his bed, clean his room, take out the trash for the family, and perhaps do more than that. And there are some who even think that the child should be punished if he does not perform the stated chores. Perhaps such a parent may not have thought deeply about whether this is the best way to help the child.
With thankfulness, I write that all parents do not make their child perform chores around the house, but treat the child very differently and for a good reason.
In every endeavor, we want a goal if we care to do the job well. So, in the job of parenting, what might be the goal? Obeying orders? Would that be a worthy goal? Perhaps some adults who may be a bit unhappy and confused about life themselves do believe that the only way to live is by having orders and obedience. However, the child who grows up not making his own decisions about what to wear or what foods he prefers or how to spend every minute of his time will hardly know how to manage his life as he grows older. If his early life is filled with orders, what can be expected as he grows? At some point, a parent may wonder why that child does not seem capable of making decisions, and may even tell herself that it is just genes. As I have written recently, there is now scientific research to prove that genes in a young child can be changed if there is abuse of any kind. Maybe treating a child like a slave is abuse.
If the parent's goal for the child is an appreciation of life, the parent is more likely to pay attention to helping the little one enjoy the beautiful sunshine or the blooming dogwood trees or promoting the child's interest in learning how to read or giving the family pet some loving instead of forcing the child to perform chores for the parent. Whatever path the parent chooses matters.
How a Mother Matters
“The influence of a mother upon the lives of her children cannot be measured. They know and absorb her example and attitudes when it comes to questions of honesty, temperance, kindness and industry.“ — Billy Graham.
Honesty, oh wow. In my first book, A Present to the Newborn, I wrote that my choice of the most important character trait is honesty. We can only imagine a world full of honest people. We can strive for that! And perhaps an honest mother is almost a necessity in influencing a child to be honest.
Kindness is the word we know to remember as the best way for a parent to treat a child, always, always, always. There is no need for a parent to ever be mean to her little boy or girl, trying to force without explanation, or punishing physically or emotionally. Clearly, a kind mother is likely to have a kind child. ( A mean mother is likely to have a child who is confused, unhappy, and insecure.)
Temperance has been part of the discussion on some radio shows about the reason for the protestors, those who choose to cause trouble in small or sometimes large ways. Temperance means having self control, being moderate, and respectful too. Again, imagine all people having self-restraint instead of feeling a need to march and carry sometimes unpleasant signs of defiance. Temperance matters hugely in making life peaceful instead of the opposite, and again, a mother matters in living it and the child absorbing it through the mother's example.
Industry is the natural outgrowth in a person who has been influenced by an honest, temperate, and kind mother. An industrious person wants to be productive because he cares about others and about being helpful.
A mother who has these four character traits is likely to pass them on to her fortunate child. and through that child, will help make this a better place.
“The influence of a mother upon the lives of her children cannot be measured. They know and absorb her example and attitudes when it comes to questions of honesty, temperance, kindness and industry.“ — Billy Graham.
Honesty, oh wow. In my first book, A Present to the Newborn, I wrote that my choice of the most important character trait is honesty. We can only imagine a world full of honest people. We can strive for that! And perhaps an honest mother is almost a necessity in influencing a child to be honest.
Kindness is the word we know to remember as the best way for a parent to treat a child, always, always, always. There is no need for a parent to ever be mean to her little boy or girl, trying to force without explanation, or punishing physically or emotionally. Clearly, a kind mother is likely to have a kind child. ( A mean mother is likely to have a child who is confused, unhappy, and insecure.)
Temperance has been part of the discussion on some radio shows about the reason for the protestors, those who choose to cause trouble in small or sometimes large ways. Temperance means having self control, being moderate, and respectful too. Again, imagine all people having self-restraint instead of feeling a need to march and carry sometimes unpleasant signs of defiance. Temperance matters hugely in making life peaceful instead of the opposite, and again, a mother matters in living it and the child absorbing it through the mother's example.
Industry is the natural outgrowth in a person who has been influenced by an honest, temperate, and kind mother. An industrious person wants to be productive because he cares about others and about being helpful.
A mother who has these four character traits is likely to pass them on to her fortunate child. and through that child, will help make this a better place.
Unique Job
Parents add another person to this world! A person who looks like the parents! A person who will be “formed” by the parents!
Some parents are so appreciative when the baby arrives. They hug the baby for long times and go to the baby’s crib often, daytime and nighttime, looking at the baby and smiling and often saying to the baby, “I love you.” Recently, I saw a 5 day old baby smiling a big smile! I knew the parents had been talking lovingly with that newborn and the parents had not screamed, “Stop crying!”
Some parents, however, do yell at the baby they had asked to be born. They act as if they do not even like that baby! If this is true, surely we all hope that such parents will realize they do not have to have that child or any more children. Birth control is available or so is giving up the baby for adoption.
But, also, a parent who has been unkind to the baby can change! With a change to loving talks, the parent will see the child change! What a thrill! A baby will change more easily than will a toddler or teenager. But it is never too late if the parent really changes first! Loving kindness from the parent will change the child from being insecure and unhappy to being happy with life. And a happy person is likely to be caring about others, a worthy goal for all of us.
How unique it is that a parent can help make this a better place through loving.
Parents add another person to this world! A person who looks like the parents! A person who will be “formed” by the parents!
Some parents are so appreciative when the baby arrives. They hug the baby for long times and go to the baby’s crib often, daytime and nighttime, looking at the baby and smiling and often saying to the baby, “I love you.” Recently, I saw a 5 day old baby smiling a big smile! I knew the parents had been talking lovingly with that newborn and the parents had not screamed, “Stop crying!”
Some parents, however, do yell at the baby they had asked to be born. They act as if they do not even like that baby! If this is true, surely we all hope that such parents will realize they do not have to have that child or any more children. Birth control is available or so is giving up the baby for adoption.
But, also, a parent who has been unkind to the baby can change! With a change to loving talks, the parent will see the child change! What a thrill! A baby will change more easily than will a toddler or teenager. But it is never too late if the parent really changes first! Loving kindness from the parent will change the child from being insecure and unhappy to being happy with life. And a happy person is likely to be caring about others, a worthy goal for all of us.
How unique it is that a parent can help make this a better place through loving.
