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(The goal of psychiatrists in treating patients of any age is happiness.)

Happiness is mental healthiness. 

People who feel a need to go to a counselor for help are feeling unhappy instead of happy with life. Peace will prevail more if more parents realize their importance and the importance of kindness.

Consider this, For the past several years in this country, there have been horrible mass murders: Orlando nightclub, Las Vegas, Florida school, Texas school, Indiana school. Each time, shortly after, a tv announcer says something like, “We do not yet know the cause of the mass murders” A day or so later, we hear that the murderer had some mental problems. Didn’t we know that? 

The cause of mass murders is the murderer is unhappy.

Why are some people happy and some are not?
1. The formative years of life are called formative because they are formative. 
2. In those years, the main influence is the  parent. 
3 . The parent can be kind to the child, always. 

Why are Some People Unhappy and Some are Happy?

 Responding to Probable Thoughts from Readers !!


But Isn't it just genes??

New scientific research has shown that even genes can be changed
if there is physical or emotional abuse to a young child, so...
... the formative years matter.


                   But that grandmother was who spent most time with the child in those early years,
or that little baby and toddler was taken to that day care place
 almost every day ... so the parent did not matter that much?

Who made the decision
to have the grandparent be with the baby
or who decided to take him or her to a daycare place
and which one?
...who else but the parent? 
In the beginning, the main influence, either directly or indirectly, is the parent.m

But a parent needs to discipline the child?

We know that to discipline means to teach.  Surely we all realize that a child can be taught better with words instead of hitting, with kindness instead of meanness. 

  • The parent can t alk and listen, always being open to discuss
  • The parent can be  honest 
  • The parent can answer every single question
  • T he parent can teach by communicating instead of by punishing
  • The parent can be on the child's side instead of an opposite side
  • The parent can enjoy helping the child appreciate life
  • The parent can smile with the child

    Always treating the child with kindness and honesty and openness, while helping the child learn about life, is an easy and wonderful thing to do.  That kind and happy child is likely to be caring about others .

More Details

There is much discussion of why people are not being kinder to each other,.  Many people say the cause is "the breakup of the family."  Maybe so.  But what does that mean exactly?  Husband and wife not staying married?  Would that cause people everywhere to be unkind to each other?   

Maybe the real meaning is that too many children are being mistreated  by their parents.  Sometimes this is only because some parents think what they do hardly matters and sometimes it is only because some parents have been told to be dictators, teaching the child with commands and punishment instead of guidelines and communication.  Most babies come into the world ready to be influenced.  Those who are treated with loving kindness when newborns, toddlers, and teenagers are different from those who are treated with commands or neglect.   Every parent matters in deciding  how to help make this a better place.


1. The formative years of life are formative

2. The beginning matters

3. Anwering the baby's cry from the crib with kindness gives the baby a sense of security

4. Continuing to answer the baby, toddler, and teenager with loving kindness helps the child be happy with life. 

Happy is a huge word.  Happy people usually want to be nice to others!  Oh wow, important .  Unhappy children or adults who are confused, depressed, and troubled to various degrees are the ones who try to make others hurt.  We can think of a little bully in First Grade trying to make other 6 year olds hurt physically or emotionally.  And we can think of a mass murderer who is obviously a person who is not happy with life, his own and the lives of others. Teaching the child with kindness matters. 

A Present to the Newborn by Emily Hunter Slingluff is helpful for a parent with a child any age.